brianjustin_fan

Sleep can wait.

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 04:48:05 GMT

Sexuality, orientation, gay, straight, bisexual, asexual, pansexual, transsexual, and the list of mysteries continue. But I wonder to myself, was heterosexuality ever a mystery? Did a straight woman or man ever wonder why they were attracted to someone of the opposite sex? Do any of them have a "coming-out story" or remember an age when they "first realized...". Have they experienced the pain, humiliation, oppression, depression, or confusion that a homosexual can feel?

Why is it so different? Why is it so abnormal to like someone of the same sex? Should all of these feelings be considered different or abnormal? Why, when we never examine the thoughts and feelings of a "straight" person. Why are their thoughts so normal?

Does sexual orientation depend on a person's actions and behaviors, or rather on thoughts and feelings? Does it even matter; should it make a difference? Should what you feel and how you behave make you feel ashamed? Why is it that we're immediately attached a label if we're attracted to men or women? What does that label say about you, anyway? If someone's label is a straight female, does her thoughts solely include those of men; do her sexual tendencies reflects that of her label? Am I gay if I think gay thoughts? Or do physical acts determine orientation? Who decides these things?

Why is "straight" a starting point? Why are we the ones deviating? Who came up with this? Why isn't homosexuality a starting point, and people deviate from that. But, for all to be equal, we can't have a starting point to deviate from. Why so the straight think they are so high and mighty?

Do we really exist on a scale from straight, to bisexual, to gay? Do we all fall within this range? Are scales, ranges, and models necessary or sufficient? Why is it that we need comparative measures? What if you could just be, without a need to compare oneself to another. What if you merely fall for someone based on something deeper than anatomy.

This leads me to the idea of classification. It's what we were brought up to do. Plants. Animals. Insects. Carnivore. Omnivore. Herbivore. Reptiles. Mammals. Amphibians. Gay. Straight. Bisexual. The idea behind classification is simplicity. With classification systems, our world becomes a little easier, there's less cognitive processing that needs to occur. You eat plants; you're a herbivore. You birth live young; you're a mammal. But what if these boundaries are blurred?

As humans, we claim to be capable of higher forms of thinking. Then why is it so hard to see that categorization can be impeding, inefficient, and detrimental? Why can't we see that lines begin to blur when attempting to use the rules of categorization on ourselves... only then does categorization not seem like such a good idea.

Sometimes biological classification fails to step up to the plate. Gender; male and female. What about hermaphrodites? What is so wrong with a hermaphrodite baby? Do you see any "Congratulations on an ambiguous baby!" card in any Hallmark store? Didn't think so. Our society isn't accepting of any other form of gender. Drag queens? Transsexuals? Butch females. Nellie, sissy, or girly boys. All of these things deviate from the norm... well sorry society, gender isn't just black and white. And neither is sexual orientation.

I ask myself, what's so wrong with the fact that I like both women and men. Should this fact reflect negatively about who I am as a person? How did connections between homosexuality and words like "sinful", "wrong", and "immoral" start? What purpose do these connections serve?

Is it too hard to ask for acceptance and tolerance?

Should we really need to ask? Why isn't it a given?

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 01:43:19 GMT

Help!

I can't think of what episode Justin tops Brian in...

*pulls out hair*

The end of the world as I know it... until I start watching from the beginning once more

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 03:51:41 GMT

Just finished watching season five of QAF (I've seen the entire collection three times now at least?) and.... I still bawl like a baby.

I've never been more moved or emotional about any other show in my life (L Word might take second place, when Dana's dies *cries*). I can't even begin to fathom the depth of Brian and Justin's love for each other... it actually amazes me and brings me to tears. I applaud Gale and Randy, they're fucking brilliant.

*sigh* as much as I love the last show, because it's so emotional and amazing, I can't bear to think that Justin actually goes to NY and leaves Brian. I must start back at season one, episode one, just to lift my heart up from it's current state of mourning.

Side note: one of my favorite quotes from this seasons is as follows...
"You bought this palace?" - Justin
"It's for my prince." - Brian

<3

*swallows back tears* I am such an emotional wreck, haha, it's actually kinda funny.

As a final note, I am marveling at the countless "mood" options LJ provides... hehe ^^;;

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 18:54:02 GMT

Inspiration for video-making: "eyes on fire" by blue foundation.

Another great Brian/Justin song...

I’ll seek you out,
Flay you alive
One more word and you won’t survive
And I’m not scared of your stolen power
I see right through you any hour

I won’t soothe your pain
I won’t ease your strain
You’ll be waiting in vain
I got nothing for you to gain

I’m taking it slow
Feeding my flame
Shuffling the cards of your game
And just in time
In the right place
Suddenly I will play my ace

I won’t soothe your pain
I won’t ease your strain
You’ll be waiting in vain
I got nothing for you to gain

Eyes on fire
Your spine is ablaze
Feeling any foe with my gaze

And just in time
In the right place

Merry Christmas

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 17:01:49 GMT

Merry Christmas everyone! Hope your holidays are joyous.

Love, Bri
xo

OMG!

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 16:14:00 GMT

He really has taken over my life... I dreamt of him again last night. This is the second time in a week (this is a lot considering the serious lack of sleep and time spent in REM). I can't get Brian (aka Gale Harold) out of my head.

In this dream, I was his girlfriend and the dream started out with me giving him a blow job. Then we went to a bar and the bartender tried to get him to stay and get drunk but he said "no, I am going home with someone I love" so we left. T'was romantic <3 after this a lot of crazy non-Brian stuff happened... but still! I can definitely conclude that he's taken over and I am in love *dreamy eyes* haha

I highly recommend the song "Sex on Fire" by Kings of Leon to anyone who hasn't heard it yet. It is unbelievably delicious. It's the song I made my video to :) -->http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4St3Io13E9Q for those who want to see it. I am so proud of it *dances*

Side note: I watched a few clips of Gale Harold as some boyfriend on the show Desperate Housewives... and it makes me so sad :( I refuse to watch him play a straight role with Teri Hatcher! He's gonna be a gay, ass-fucking, Justin-lovin' man in my heart forever!

I'm gonna stop rambling for now... :)

YouTube Video :)

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 15:26:37 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4St3Io13E9Q

It finally uploaded :)

first entry,

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 00:05:12 GMT

First entry *dances* I've had other accounts before, but I really plan on keeping this one up so that I can have a place to think and speak my mind freely.

For about a year now I've been obsessing about Queer As Folk, probably the greatest show I've even seen in my life. I especially adore Brian and Justin, I swear I've never loved anything more. They have taken over my thoughts, my dreams, and my spare time. Do I mind this? Not at all! I do admit it's kinda sad when they're all I think about, all I watch, and all I dream about. Surprisingly, I have an active social life, and am a straight A student, so maybe this love for QAF still falls under the "Hobby" category rather than "Extreme obsession" ;)

If you love this pairing as much as me, I recommend listening to "Sex on Fire" by Kings of Leon, and "All the Same" by Sick Puppies. These two songs definitely compliment their relationship perfectly, each highlighting different aspects.

I've made my first Brian/Justin video, but it's still uploading onto YouTube. I'll post a link here as soon as it's up. It's a bit choppy, but oh-so-delicious.

Hmm, this is it for the first post... don't want to get me rambling too much! ^^;;

xo